


The Things You Can’t Replace

by Agent00Annie



Category: TAZ Balance - Fandom, The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Light Angst, Post-Canon Fix-It, Swearing, Taz spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 19:52:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17855903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agent00Annie/pseuds/Agent00Annie
Summary: Working for a god is... weird. It’s kinda like a normal job. At least in the sense that you have a boss and a specific thing you have to do, and you get “paid” for doing it. It’s the payment part of the arrangement that’s the weirdest, really. Sure the Raven Queen could pay you in rubies and emeralds and capturing death criminals and bringing them to justice. But if you don’t need food, clothing, or gear it’s not that useful. So when Taako, Merle, and Magnus started more actively working as emissaries of lady fate they had assumed their reward would be something like good luck or divine favor. No one was expecting Istus to give them such a large “bonus” so soon.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *Edit* This is not a complete story, just the first chunk! So don’t worry, more will come eventually I promise!
> 
> This is overall pretty soft and chill, but since this is dealing with the boy’s sacrifices during wonderland it can get kinda angsty.

“What’s good my dude?!” Taako called out. The elf was unusually enthusiastic, and had foregone his feigned disinterest for the time being. Magnus shot Merle a quizzical a look before greeting their boss as well.

“Hail And well met my lady!” He said as he nudged the beach dwarf next to him.

“Oh shit, hi lady ismus!” Merle shouted, too confidently for someone who just called a literal goddess the wrong name to her face. Istus simply chuckled and smiled.

“Hello my friends. Having a good day I take it?” Her voice was like honey and mint leaves. Warm and smooth, but not lazy. Istus’ words were crisp and comforting. The boys all felt their spirits rise a little more as she motioned for them to sit.

“I suppose I should explain why you’re here. Today I have summoned you not to complete a mission, but to receive your first real payment. You have already saved this world, not to mention all of existence, so I figured your first bonus could come a little early.”

All three of them began to sit up a little straighter at the mention of being payed. They weren’t sure what that even meant! Was it gems? Or gold and silver? Or more divine gifts like the ones they were granted to save refuge?

“Sweet! So like, do we just get a pile of diamonds or?...” Merle asked, saying what they all had been thinking. Taako nodded and hummed in agreement. He was very eager to find out what being payed by a god was like. Especially considering his immediate family and boyfriend were employed by the Raven Queen. If his sister had some hoard of gems lying about that she wasn’t telling him about there’d be hell to pay. 

“I cannot offer you coin or gems, as those are payments of the mortal realms. But I can grant you gifts and blessings. So I have decided to return to you each somethings you had lost in your quest to save the world.”

At this they all fell silent. Istus didn’t need to say it for aloud them to understand what she was referencing. They had lost the most in the labyrinth called wonderland. Magnus seemed confused. He had already got back everything he lost when he jumped from his mannequin body to the clone Garfield the deals warlock had been growing in the back room of Fantasy Costco. Which is still fucking wild to think about. As soon as the thought had left his mind, however, he found himself surrounded in threads of impossible colors. They danced and swirled around him before enveloping him entirely and then seemingly disappearing. He blinked and squinted in confusion.

“No offense but what the hell?” He finally said.  
“I didn’t have anything to recover from wonderland. I got my years, my vitality, and my pinky back with the weird duplicate body. So what was all that?”

Lady Istus sighed, speaking softly as she explained. “The hardest part of this gift is that you don’t quiet remember losing it. You are correct. Unlike your fellow companions, most of what you lost was returned to you when you left your mannequin form behind. But what you did not regain were the memories that were taken from you. The memories of the wicked Governor Kalen.”


	2. Compensation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus Remembers. Merle gets his dark vision back. Taako becomes a twin again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a long one. But trust me it’s worth it. The next chapter won’t be out for a while, I have a lot of work to do. This doc is mostly gonna be about Taako but I can’t ignore the other lads so it takes a bit to get to the flip wizard.

Magnus doesn’t respond. At least, not with words. His body begins to shake as tears roll down his face. He remembers now. All of it. The friends lost in the revolution against the mad tyrant, coming home with his prize winning chair only to find his home collapsed and ablaze. But most of all he remembers the sickening grin of the governor as he was confronted by his citizens. The eyes of a man so filled with self righteousness and pride that he could never forget.

But he had forgotten them. He’d forgotten all of it. He knew why he’d done it. He couldn’t forget Julia. That was never an option, of course it wasn’t. But forgetting Kalen? That had also meant forgetting a lot of the details of what had taken his family from him. He was so consumed by his feelings that he hadn’t noticed the sets of arms wrapped around him. When Magnus did finally realize he was being hugged by his two companions, he began to sob. They had been so willing to take the burden of his quest from him. They had both agreed to kill Kalen on first sight “for Julia” with no prompting. Even before they knew about their time together on the starblaster. And now they could all share this burden together, as brothers. The way it should be.

It took about 5 minutes for Magnus to finally collect himself. As he pulled away from the embrace of his companions, he wiped his arm across his face to clear away the tears and snot. Taako feigned disgusted horror as Magnus flicked the debris off his clothes. Magnus’ eyes were still bleary and red, but he smiled up at lady fate and said a slightly shaky “thank you” before returning to his seat.

“Well damn. That was a whole situation huh?” Lady Istus said with a nervous chuckle. “I’m glad you’re alright Magnus. But now it is time for you, Merle, to revive your reward.” Lady Istus beckoned the dwarf forward. He hopped up and stood before her dais with a large cheesy grin.

“Whatcha got for me pal?!” He shouted up at her. The goddess laughed and beamed down at the cleric fondly. She could see why Pan was so fond of him.

“For you I have four options. You could regain the physical items you sacrificed like your wedding ring, your battle axe proficiency, your dark vision, or your missing eye.”

“Oh! The dark vision for sure! It’s not like I ever used the axe, or the rest of of that junk. Plus this eye patch is real good marketing for my adventure camp ya know?” Merle replied with his trademark enthusiasm. After a simple nod, lady Istus began her work. And Merle too was wrapped in shimmering threads of what he could only assume to be pure ethereal energy. As the cords seemed to merge into his body, Merle felt a strange warmth around his eye. He looked over to his companions who both gave him a thumbs up.

“You got your beautiful dwarf eye color back my man! Now aaallll the plant hotties will love ya!” Taako called out lazily. He earned a mortified groan from Magnus in response as the fighter crumpled to the ground.

“I’m literally in hell. I’ve died and I’m in hell and I’m going to have to watch Merle seduce more plants!” He whined.

Sure, Magnus was playing up his disgust. But it was still nasty to think about Merle’s plant fetish. So he was extremely grateful when lady Istus turned her attention to the elf sitting next to him and began to speak.

“Last, but certainly not least, we have Taako. Now Taako, for you I can grant-“ but before she could go on she was cut off by the elf standing up suddenly and practically screaming his answer.

“I want my beauty back!” He blurted out. Everyone was taken back by his sudden and serious response.

“But, hey! Taako you were the flip wizard! That was your whole deal!” Merle called out in response. He paused for a moment before he leaned in towards Magnus and said in a whisper “Wait, that was his thing right? he was the flip wizard right mango?” Magnus nodded.

“Listen- listen I, I get what you’re saying. But... I lost so much, in there. And I lost so much when Lucy pulled a magical factory reset on all of us. And, like? I mean I have lulu back. And I know we’re twins and I remember everything... but, I’m not... I’m not really her twin anymore, ya know? Looking like this. I’m just... I’m just her brother...” Taako had wrapped his arms around himself tightly to hide how close to tears he really was.

He’d spent the past few years constantly casting disguise self. Even when it was just him and Lup hanging out at home. And she knew what was up. Despite being in an umbrella at the time it went down, she knew. And she didn’t say anything about it because she knew how much it had fucked him up. But he couldn’t change the fact that him and Lup weren’t identical twins anymore. And as much as he liked to pretend it didn’t matter to him, as much as he tried to ignore the dread in his stomach each time he looked in the mirror, he couldn’t lie to himself about it. Ok he could. But, like, he knew it was a lie. So what did it matter? 

Until right fucking now. The goddess of fate was giving him back his identity. She was making him a twin again. She was saving him some fucking spell slots as well but that was whatevs. And Taako couldn’t pretend he wasn’t fucking ecstatic. He didn’t have to deal with that trauma anymore because it was being fixed! Kravitz would say the trauma still needed to be addressed but he wasn’t there so his opinions weren’t important right now. He could track down his sister and cast true sight on her and show her that look! It’s me! I’m back baby, in HD! The original Taako From TV is here and he’s not going fucking anywhere Not to mention! Barry could finally stop pretending not to feel super guilty about all of it. Sure he’d created the relic they needed to reclaim from that circus of misery. But he hadn’t taken Taako’s beauty himself.

“So if it’s alright with you, I’d really like my beauty back. I know it’s selfish and vain or whatever but I Do. Not. Fucking. Care.” Taako said, trying desperately not to let the shakiness of his body to impact his voice.

The rest of the group had gone silent, but not out of disdain or judgement. They understood perhaps more deeply than Taako himself could tell. When the elf had been presented with the choice Magnus, despite being unaware at the time of the fact that Taako was a twin, had been willing to take another sacrifice for his friend. Taako’s beauty meant a lot to him, even when he couldn’t accurately remember who he was.

And so, as the literal strings of fate twirled around him, for the first time in ages Taako felt truly comfortable in his own skin. When the threads faded into his being he froze. How was he gonna know what he even looked like? Picking up on his distress, Istus created a mirror slightly to his side. She wanted to give him a moment to prepare himself before seeing his new-old self for the first time. And based on his face, Taako greatly appreciated the gesture.

He steadied himself before the mirror with his eyes closed. Taking a couple deep breaths, he psyched himself up to look at his reflection. Shit, this was the first time he’d even willingly looked at himself in a mirror since wonderland. Thankfully Kravitz hasn’t had any problems taking down the mirrors in their new apartment, allowing Taako to pretend he didn’t look so... normal. He’d gotten so used to avoiding reflective surfaces that even thinking of staring directly into one was extremely daunting.

Before his terror could over take him, Taako opened his eyes. He gasped audibly as he did, shocked by what he saw. His lips were fuller, his complexion more even, his freckles less dull. His eyes were bright, vibrant, and seemed to sparkle like precious jewels. His hair was no longer a pale yellow. It had returned to its striking golden color, with hints of red and copper throughout. He was Taako again. And not “disguise self” Taako which had never been quiet right, and had gotten less accurate as time went on. The real, original Taako.

Magnus was about to speak up when he heard his friends stifled sobs. He stood slowly and began walking towards Taako. Ensuring his footsteps could be heard, he came up behind the elf and gave him a firm hug. Taako tensed momentarily at the contact, but quickly relaxed in Magnus’s strong arms. He soon felt another, smaller pair of arms wrap around him as Merle joined the hug. Lady Istus watched as her three champions embraced, a warm and teary smile spreading across her face.


End file.
